Cover reveal! RULES OF PAYNE by ELIZABETH LYNX

Title: Rules of Payne
Series: Cake Love #1
Author: Elizabeth Lynx
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Cover Design: Elizabeth Lynx
Re-release Date: March 27, 2017

 

 
Blurb

Morgana Drake has a problem. Her boss Henrik Payne. He is short-tempered, self-centered, in dire need of a social life, probably an undiagnosed workaholic, and practically unbearable.

Yet.

She wants to rip his clothes off. To slather him in vanilla buttercream frosting and lick it off him from toe to head, and especially in between.

How will she ever get ahead at the company if she keeps imagining her boss melting in her mouth?

Henrik Payne has rules. Rules to live by and especially work by. It’s not until his clumsy yet curvaceous assistant tests his resolve that he begins to see life isn’t all about rules.

He just hopes he can get through the day without accidentally fondling her.

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Excerpt

Once I was out of the elevator, I headed straight into the bathroom and noticed Ms. Drake was not at her desk. Maybe she went home for the day and I won’t have to deal with her.

I checked my watch and noted the time, ten minutes until eleven o’clock. I had just enough time to give my cock a good spanking before Ken Brooks, the CFO, used the restroom for his daily shit storm. I’m sure Ms. Drake had learned by now to stay away from her desk when Brooks used the bathroom.

My orgasm was quick due to the use of one of my top fantasies about Ms. Drake. I had about ten different fantasy scenarios of her I used when I masturbated, and they were ranked by length of orgasm and time it took to hit the big O.

The one I used was ranked at number two. I would have used the first one knowing time was limited with Brooks nearing, but I wanted to switch it up. Anyways, I used number one in the shower this morning.

Number two was Morgana on her knees in my office, begging for my cock. She drooled as I told her to take all of it. I knew she wouldn’t actually drool in real life, but it’s my fantasy. In my imagination, she salivated all over the Captain.

I cleaned up, flushed, and then ran into Brooks just as I was washing my hands. He was boring as usual. He always discussed the weather. It’s cold. Bitterly cold. Chicago in the winter was frigid, everyone knew that. Why talk about it? He mentioned the sun and I didn’t care.

Once I was in my office, I opened my laptop and began checking my emails. One was marked urgent about the new Denton account. I realized I was going to need Ms. Drake to help me.

Having just orgasmed, being in the same room as Ms. Drake shouldn’t cause any problems. I got up and opened the door to find her with her head on her desk.

“Ms. Drake.”

She popped up and stared at me. Those greenish eyes turned golden as they enlarged.

Here I was boasting about what a hard worker she was, and now she’s laying down on the job.

“Is this how you spend your day when you think I am not in the office? Just lying around.”

She opened and closed her mouth a few times before finally shaking her head at me.

“The meetings for today got canceled, so it looks like I’m going to be here the rest of the day. Come inside my office; I need to go over some things with you.”

She mumbled something just as I turned to go back inside. The words ‘come’ and ‘bathroom’ were the only ones I caught.

I turned back. “What did you say?”

Her eyes darted around. “Uh, let me just run to the bathroom first.”

I nodded my head. “Okay.”

After a few minutes, she strolled into my office. Over the last few weeks, I had become accustomed to Ms. Drake’s stride. It’s average but with a little more swing in her hips and at times, bouncy. Perhaps that was why she tripped more often than others.

But right now her walk was cat-like, stealthy, with a heaping dose of confidence and cleavage. As she took her seat, her fingers tugged at her blouse, bringing my eyes down to her chest where they remained.

I hated it when she did that.

Forcing my gaze back to her face I wondered what I missed. Something was happening and I wondered for a moment if it involved me.

“Are you feeling alright, Ms. Drake? You look pale and you have a funny expression on your face.”

Her fingers continued to fondle her top but her eyes narrowed at me. “Oh I’m fine, Mr. Payne. One hundred percent, grade-A beef, fine. In fact, I think I’m a little hot. Do I look hot to you, Mr. Payne?”

One button. Pop.

Another button. Pop.

She shimmied slightly but enough to reveal a slip of green lace.

I swallowed. Hard.

“Ms. Drake, what are you doing?”

Her lips curved as if she was waiting for those exact words to tumble out of my mouth. I got the feeling she wanted something. I also got the feeling I would give it to her. My hand slipped to my lap as I adjusted my cock already stirring from his earlier binge.

He was insatiable.

“I was in the bathroom a little while ago.”

I nodded. “I know you asked to use it before we had this meeting.”

Did I drop something in there? Maybe she heard me talking to Brooks and wants in on that top-secret conversation about the sunny sky in winter.

I tried to hide my laughter.  “No, before.” What was she talking about? This woman was sexy and smart, but right now she might as well have been…wait, I think I got her meaning.  “The women’s bathroom you mean, right, Ms. Drake?” My eyes pleaded with her to open her mouth and say ‘yes, the women’s bathroom.’ Why would she not use the women’s restroom? That would be ridiculous, especially so close to Brooks’ time.Her head turned slowly from side to side in a tormenting no. “No, the men’s. The woman’s restroom was being cleaned so I had to use the men’s. You know, the one where you wanted me to take all of your cock.”

 

 

Author Bio

Elizabeth Lynx writes romantic comedy with steam. She’s a recovering comedian. Wife and mother of the male species. Believer in love & laughter. Her life consists of preventing small catastrophes and wondering if a day will exist when she doesn’t have to fold laundry.

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Cover reveal for CAKE LOVE – All Things Payne by ELIZABETH LYNX

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Cake Love Boxed Set: All Things Payne
by Elizabeth Lynx
Cake Love #1-2
Publication Date: November 19, 2015
Genres: Adult, Boxed Set, Contemporary, Humor, Romance

Cake Love Boxed Set All Things Payne Cover

Synopsis: Now you can have your cake and eat it too!

All the hot and crazy antics of Morgana Drake and Henrik Payne in one sexy boxed set. Seriously, look at the cover, there is cake right on it. And it’s sitting on her butt, what is sexier than that!

This story! That’s what’s sexier. So, sit back, relax and enjoy the ins and outs, ups and downs of all things Payne.

What do you get with this SUPER-FANTASTIC Cake Love Boxed Set: All Things Payne? I’ll tell you:

RULES OF PAYNE –
***WARNING – Steamy Sex Scenes – Cake addiction – Incorrect usage of the word Potatoes***

Morgana Drake has some problems in her life. She has a boss she hates but can’t stop fantasizing about him. As she puts her focus into getting into the company’s Executive Development Program she finds only one thing standing in her way, you guessed it – her boss, Henrik Payne.

Henrik Payne is very serious about his job. He has worked hard for over ten years to become VP of Sales and Marketing and make Mimir the third largest online retailer. He has rules he follows to make sure the company and his life run smoothly.
So, why does he keep breaking all his rules?

RULES OF PAYNE 2: Electric Boogaloo –
***WARNING – More Steamy Sex Scenes – Mile High sex that can’t be unread and Dirty Condom Wrappers used as lucky charms***

Morgana Drake has had a taste of Payne and finds she likes it in more ways than one, but she still has a few problems.

Henrik Payne knows what he has to do. In the process he realizes he is too selfish for his own good, and the good of others. He’s also discovers his rules suck balls. He has made a new list.

Henrik and Morgana have gotten caught. Now what?
Do they get fired? Do they stay together? Where does cake fall in all of this? Read this and find out!

THE PAYNE IN THE BLOG –
You have now read the Rules of Payne and Rules of Payne 2 and find an unusual craving for cake? It happens. But you also find out you want so much more. Things that were referenced in the Rules of Payne books, you have to know how it all went down. Well, you are in luck! Get the ‘behind the scenes’ so to speak with this collection of character blog posts. The very first post being the moment Morgana and Henrik first met!

The posts lead directly up to where the book begins. Here’s what Morgana has to say about it:

***WARNING – Real Blog Posts – Sex Scenes – Copious amounts of Cake***

I love cake. Wait, wait, let me start again…. My Boss is an a**hole but mind numbingly gorgeous. That didn’t sound right either. Scratch this (note to author – do not put this in the blurb).

My name is Morgana Drake, I write a blog. You may have heard of it, The Payne in the Blog (same as the title of this book, clever huh!). No? Oh well — you will trust me! I may just be Mr. Henrik Payne’s assistant now, but soon I will be running the company.

How do I know? I can feel it in my bones. There is only one problem, my boss. They don’t just call him the Payne for nothing. He’s a jerk and I hate him! Then why do I keep fantasizing about him? Seriously, I think I need help.

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About Elizabeth Lynx

Elizabeth Lynx

Elizabeth Lynx is not a robot, that’s for sure. At least she says she’s not. She is also not a space alien. How do I know this, because she was born in Baltimore Maryland in the 1970’s when no one wanted to be in Baltimore Maryland so why would her parents say that if it weren’t true. Of course she has had her suspicions growing up and is still in a continual search for evidence that backs up her space age theories.

To bide her time she writes about ‘normal’ people and their sexy romantic lives. Her husband chooses to put up with her theories and paranoid musings. Her two little boys help her see that perhaps she isn’t an alien but more of a climbing rock. This theory is new, so she needs more time to develop it further.

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**Blog Tour w/ Review & Giveaway ~ RULES OF PAYNE by ELIZABETH LYNX

Rules of Payne Banner

Rules of Payne
by Elizabeth Lynx
Publication Date: April 1, 2015
Genres: Contemporary, Erotic, Humor

Rules of Payne Cover

Synopsis

Morgana Drake has some problems in her life.

Problem #1: She has a boss she hates. Truth be told everyone at her company hates him, he’s a jerk.
Problem #2: Morgana fantasizes and has sex dreams about her awful boss because he is just sooo good looking. She may have done a lot more than fantasize, but please don’t tell anyone.

Problem #3: She wants to get into her company’s Executive Development Program, but there is one thing standing in her way. You guessed it, her boss.
Problem #4: Morgana needs to get laid by someone other than her boss. She feels if she likes someone else she will stop lusting after Henrik Payne.

Henrik Payne is very serious about his job. He has worked hard for over ten years to become VP of Sales and Marketing and make Mimir the third largest online retailer. He has rules he follows to make sure the company and his life run smoothly.

Rule #1: Know the company from the ground up and the people who make this place great.
Rule #2: Don’t do anything that might negatively affect the company or him.
Rule #3: It’s best not to date women. If he does, they are to be kept at a distance. Emotions cloud judgment and can cause harm to the company if he is with the wrong woman and reveals too much.
Rule #4: Don’t drink. It weakens people’s resolve, makes them act ridiculous and can make them do horrible things. Things that can’t be undone.

So, why does he keep breaking all his rules?

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Excerpt
His laughter fills the large room we have entered. There are two tan sofas with a huge brown suede chair facing a fireplace so big I could walk into it. I now want to live in that fireplace — provided no one ever starts it up again. On either side of the massive fireplace is a wall of windows overlooking Lake Michigan. I press my face to the glass and stare at the misty fog and choppy waves below.
“Can I marry your apartment? I promise to let you have visiting rights but I think I want to put a ring on it.” I watch his reflection come up beside me in the glass and feel the vibration from his laughter as he leans on the window.
“For what it’s worth Morgana, I did look forward to our online chats. You always made me laugh, not many people can do that. As for marrying my place I thought you said once you were marrying cake. Are you two-timing now?”
I turn my face from the glass, realizing I just smeared lipstick on it. Trying to cover my smudge I rub my sleeve on the window, making it worse. “I can lead a double life. Cake on the weekends and this apartment during the week. Cake will never find out.”
Henrik nods and pulls a tissue from his pocket and wipes away the smudge from the window. I feel my cheeks flame. First I spill the contents of my purse, then smudge up his window, what’s next? Will I accidentally poop on his floor? Can I be any more of a doofus?
He reaches over to cup my chin and brings it towards him. Oh my God he’s going to kiss me. Do I want him to kiss me? He accused me of some terrible stuff at the coffee shop and has really screwed with my brain the past few months. It would be wise for me to back away from him and walk out that door. Oh who am I kidding, I’m far from wise. Kiss away Henrik!
I close my eyes and start to pucker my lips when I feel something brushing my chin. Oh, he likes to start slow. Okay I can get into that. There is another brush of my cheek and I moan to help him along.
“Did I press too hard Morgana?”
“Oh no Henrik it felt just right. I…” I open my eyes to see him with the tissue trying to wipe my cheek. Suddenly it occurs to me I have smeared lipstick on my face. He’s being gentlemanly and cleaning it up, while I moan and tell him how right it feels. Please kill me.
Review

3.5 cake-eating STARS

About the Author

Elizabeth Lynx

Elizabeth Lynx is not a robot, that’s for sure. At least she says she’s not. She is also not a space alien. How do I know this, because she was born in Baltimore Maryland in the 1970’s when no one wanted to be in Baltimore Maryland so why would her parents say that if it weren’t true. Of course she has had her suspicions growing up and is still in a continual search for evidence that backs up her space age theories.

To bide her time she writes about ‘normal’ people and their sexy romantic lives. Her husband chooses to put up with her theories and paranoid musings. Her two little boys help her see that perhaps she isn’t an alien but more of a climbing rock. This theory is new, so she needs more time to develop it further.

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