Rules of Payne
by Elizabeth Lynx
Publication Date: April 1, 2015
Genres: Contemporary, Erotic, Humor
Morgana Drake has some problems in her life.
Problem #1: She has a boss she hates. Truth be told everyone at her company hates him, he’s a jerk.
Problem #2: Morgana fantasizes and has sex dreams about her awful boss because he is just sooo good looking. She may have done a lot more than fantasize, but please don’t tell anyone.
Problem #3: She wants to get into her company’s Executive Development Program, but there is one thing standing in her way. You guessed it, her boss.
Problem #4: Morgana needs to get laid by someone other than her boss. She feels if she likes someone else she will stop lusting after Henrik Payne.
Henrik Payne is very serious about his job. He has worked hard for over ten years to become VP of Sales and Marketing and make Mimir the third largest online retailer. He has rules he follows to make sure the company and his life run smoothly.
Rule #1: Know the company from the ground up and the people who make this place great.
Rule #2: Don’t do anything that might negatively affect the company or him.
Rule #3: It’s best not to date women. If he does, they are to be kept at a distance. Emotions cloud judgment and can cause harm to the company if he is with the wrong woman and reveals too much.
Rule #4: Don’t drink. It weakens people’s resolve, makes them act ridiculous and can make them do horrible things. Things that can’t be undone.
So, why does he keep breaking all his rules?
His laughter fills the large room we have entered. There are two tan sofas with a huge brown suede chair facing a fireplace so big I could walk into it. I now want to live in that fireplace — provided no one ever starts it up again. On either side of the massive fireplace is a wall of windows overlooking Lake Michigan. I press my face to the glass and stare at the misty fog and choppy waves below.“Can I marry your apartment? I promise to let you have visiting rights but I think I want to put a ring on it.” I watch his reflection come up beside me in the glass and feel the vibration from his laughter as he leans on the window.“For what it’s worth Morgana, I did look forward to our online chats. You always made me laugh, not many people can do that. As for marrying my place I thought you said once you were marrying cake. Are you two-timing now?”I turn my face from the glass, realizing I just smeared lipstick on it. Trying to cover my smudge I rub my sleeve on the window, making it worse. “I can lead a double life. Cake on the weekends and this apartment during the week. Cake will never find out.”Henrik nods and pulls a tissue from his pocket and wipes away the smudge from the window. I feel my cheeks flame. First I spill the contents of my purse, then smudge up his window, what’s next? Will I accidentally poop on his floor? Can I be any more of a doofus?He reaches over to cup my chin and brings it towards him. Oh my God he’s going to kiss me. Do I want him to kiss me? He accused me of some terrible stuff at the coffee shop and has really screwed with my brain the past few months. It would be wise for me to back away from him and walk out that door. Oh who am I kidding, I’m far from wise. Kiss away Henrik!I close my eyes and start to pucker my lips when I feel something brushing my chin. Oh, he likes to start slow. Okay I can get into that. There is another brush of my cheek and I moan to help him along.“Did I press too hard Morgana?”“Oh no Henrik it felt just right. I…” I open my eyes to see him with the tissue trying to wipe my cheek. Suddenly it occurs to me I have smeared lipstick on my face. He’s being gentlemanly and cleaning it up, while I moan and tell him how right it feels. Please kill me.
Elizabeth Lynx is not a robot, that’s for sure. At least she says she’s not. She is also not a space alien. How do I know this, because she was born in Baltimore Maryland in the 1970’s when no one wanted to be in Baltimore Maryland so why would her parents say that if it weren’t true. Of course she has had her suspicions growing up and is still in a continual search for evidence that backs up her space age theories.
To bide her time she writes about ‘normal’ people and their sexy romantic lives. Her husband chooses to put up with her theories and paranoid musings. Her two little boys help her see that perhaps she isn’t an alien but more of a climbing rock. This theory is new, so she needs more time to develop it further.